So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
