Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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