I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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