Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
