I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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