Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
two words...techno handjob
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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