Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
