dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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