you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
