I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
im about as happy as oj after his trial
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
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