he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?