the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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