You're so nebulous sometimes
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.