and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
USA USA USA