He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
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Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.