Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
