I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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