All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
