P.S. I can't hear my feet
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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