This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
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It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
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I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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