I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
