where am i from again
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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