Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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