So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
