You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
