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• (480): View more from Arizona

  get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

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• (925): View more from California

  I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (613): View more from Ontario

  I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard

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• (310): View more from California

  But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed

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