I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You ruined the universe