Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Perfect. Like where your heads at

  (906): View more from Michigan

  By relax I mean have sex

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  (906): Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow (248): Perfect. Like where your heads at (906) By relax I mean have sex http://tfl.nu/crtd
  Replies (2) Good night (2318) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.

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  (407): Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child. http://tfl.nu/79c5
  Replies (50) Good night (690) Bad night (5921)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  where am I supposed to find one of those?

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  (225): I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8. (225): where am I supposed to find one of those? http://tfl.nu/uj31
  Replies (17) Good night (1144) Bad night (2591)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.

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  (518): i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good. http://tfl.nu/b46x
  Replies (44) Good night (10068) Bad night (668)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.

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  (213): the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad. http://tfl.nu/2doo
  Replies (31) Good night (571) Bad night (5290)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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  (407): Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing. http://tfl.nu/4f2e
  Replies (9) Good night (4640) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  She did the bend and snap...

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  (519): I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy. (519): She did the bend and snap... http://tfl.nu/78hn
  Replies (29) Good night (7684) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day

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  (314): I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day http://tfl.nu/ayjg
  Replies (6) Good night (3024) Bad night (1243)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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  (570): I was literally just a half conscious dildo. http://tfl.nu/oo11
  Replies (16) Good night (4444) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian

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  (845): if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian http://tfl.nu/1pnw
  Replies (7) Good night (1401) Bad night (2757)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere

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  (907): I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him (307): Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere http://tfl.nu/182x
  Replies (4) Good night (1119) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.

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  (612): I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot. http://tfl.nu/caxg
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings

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  (845): I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings http://tfl.nu/ny97
  Replies (12) Good night (805) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.

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  (336): When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night. http://tfl.nu/5o01
  Replies (1) Good night (697) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.

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  (317): Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods. http://tfl.nu/5ob5
  Replies (1) Good night (214) Bad night (292)

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