she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.