This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.