Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something

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  (202): the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something http://tfl.nu/lezg
  Replies (2) Good night (1099) Bad night (552)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

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  (850): Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today? http://tfl.nu/xk43
  Replies (54) Good night (1052) Bad night (4611)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Most never. Some around 65.

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  (314): So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title? (816): Most never. Some around 65. http://tfl.nu/dvz5
  Replies (22) Good night (2320) Bad night (764)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.

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  (410): I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot. http://tfl.nu/03m3
  Replies (15) Good night (3085) Bad night (876)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.

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  (702): Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes. http://tfl.nu/674n
  Replies (18) Good night (1333) Bad night (3404)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  Wait are they playing beer pong to?

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  (804): there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule! (1-804): Wait are they playing beer pong to? http://tfl.nu/dq3n
  Replies (13) Good night (4774) Bad night (1184)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.

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  (503): i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday. http://tfl.nu/ygu9
  Replies (9) Good night (6416) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.

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  (202): Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful. http://tfl.nu/bz9e
  Replies (7) Good night (3256) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.

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  (214): If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class. http://tfl.nu/5suq
  Replies (7) Good night (2761) Bad night (1016)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.

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  (612): I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover. http://tfl.nu/pxbl
  Replies (8) Good night (3982) Bad night (960)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???

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  (402): I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end??? http://tfl.nu/eolj
  Replies (4) Good night (1607) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...

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  (503): So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address... http://tfl.nu/a3xh
  Replies (7) Good night (1810) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  My god, what have you done?

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  (203): Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship. (1-203): My god, what have you done? http://tfl.nu/3iim
  Replies (3) Good night (1714) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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  (913): If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on. http://tfl.nu/4zva
  Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (363)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.

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  (479): Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie. http://tfl.nu/n54r
  Replies (7) Good night (860) Bad night (261)

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