get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed