I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
