And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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