please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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