He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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