my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
