She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
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She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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