in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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