and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
