Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
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I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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