do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
