Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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