Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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