I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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