Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
