A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize