dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
