Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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