He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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