Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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