Your tits are I can't wait for
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
