I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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