Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize