I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
