I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
