Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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