I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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