She's JV to your varsity
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
