yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
