Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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