i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
