You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
