Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize