i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
