Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Michael Bay diarrhea
i love accidental penises.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
