remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
