I just gift wrapped bread.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
