Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize
