Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize