Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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