dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
